When Ralph's wife Joan died suddenly at age 46, he was devastated. Joan and Ralph shared the joys of raising children, supported each other when troubles emerged in their married life, played together several times a month as well as taking vacations that built common experiences. Certainly there were times when irritations emerged but instead of holding grudges they worked at being considerate of each others tender areas. With Joan no longer in his life Ralph faces learning how to fill the place she held in his life for thirty years.
In some ways Ralph has an advantage. His thirty years of close cooperation has given him a history of success. Success is a necessary foundation for self esteem. Unfortunately what his friends see as a strong foundation for self esteem, is a source of doubt for Ralph. Ralph has relied on Joan for companionship, support, even challenges to his thinking since he was 16 years old. Without Joan he finds himself feeling like that 16 year old boy again. He thinks he will have to start all over again building friendships.
The years with Joan also are a standard that will be impossible to duplicate. He will never be able to grow up with another person in the way he did with Joan.